Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
