she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I forgot how hot balto sounded
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Did I show you my penis last night?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
