what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Even the bartender felt bad for me
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
