covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
