You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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