It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
