is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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