I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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