I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
