Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
i think my cat just said my name.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
