1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
