I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize