I faked an abortion last night.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
