Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
