shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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