Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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