I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize