Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
