She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
we're making bets on your personal life
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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