Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
