My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
