Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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