I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
