one might say we're banned from that church
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
