return my video game
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Randomize
