Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
