I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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