Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I think your dad took our porno
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I need a beard to bite.
Randomize