look no pants
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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