I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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