what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
