it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
