BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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