I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
