Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
