Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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