i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
