That's intense
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
