This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
