She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
