I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
