where am i from again
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize