Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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