why didn't you poke me back
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
