Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
