Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
