I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
