Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Randomize