Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
