I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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