I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
