Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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