Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
he puts the penis in happiness.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
