I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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