All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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