Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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