i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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