I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
