We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Come back. Shots need mouths.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize