i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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