why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
