Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize