Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
