just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
